Sunday, September 24, 2006
Two straws; one linksys!
I'm at the Lyric Diner (22nd/third, boggie man!) engaging in an impromptu, power all nite writing session. Get it? It was NOT PLANNED, it's POWERFUL and to top it off I'm writing all NITE LONG. But how friends (if you don't mind me resting my creepy cyber hand on your leg a moment) am I currently communicating VIA all Gore's internet? I pay 20 clams a month for Barnes and Noble WiFi and god knows I haven't upgraded to the big package. I see your eyeballs peeking to the bottom of your screen. And, it's not to check out my ass in my new Gap ''skinny pants.'' It doesn't read "Sent from my wireless blackberry." Don't waste your time. That's next month.
SOMEONE forgot to put a password on their wireless. Was it Tom and Katy in apartment 14 H in The Gramercy Towers who said, "Oh we don't give a hay if someone borrows our service. We're new in town and just happy to be soaking up the big city life!" ????
Orrrr is it the burner whose second floor window I'm staring into now? He's putting pins into the eyeballs of his Tucker Carlson Voodoo doll while watching "Office Space" for the third time in a row!
Who ever you are, I thank you. I'm not trying to be belligerent. I need the net. It's not like the nice Indian family that strolled in are enough to entertain me. Or you for that matter. (UPDATE) The Indian family turned out not to be so nice. The dad who looks like he has mafia ties (nicely tailored navy suit and pink shirt!) was apparently angered by the service as he just said, "Anybody work here!?" The shocked busboy nodded that yes indeed people do work here. He just ordered the turkey soup for his older son. They make turkey soup? Really! Oh boy! Here's his latest quote, "You're not going to ask us if we want something to drink?" I am literally swiveling my head around and debating buying tickets! This guy is ready to blow. FYI the wife has not said, "Boo."
UPDATE: It's 4:35 AM and I'm still here. This is impressive being that I have the attention span of an avocado. Around 2 AM I started to lose power and the owner let me go to a dark corner and plug my laptop into the wall. Howevs, from said dark corner there was none of what Bush calls "the internets." All I could pick-up were airports labeled KATE (Bitch has a password so cryptic I can't even go into it) and FANCYFREE. He may be fancy but he sure ain't free because he too has his wireless on lockdown. I got a marginally dirty look from the line cook and decided to move back home (the booth I started in) and Mindspring sprung! I'm baaaack!
In addition to making a lot of progress writing-wise, I also sent out a mass e-mail mostly to old colleagues and people I've only met a few times that announced, "I'm changing my name to Percilla Stokes effective IMMEDIATELY." To make sure the transition is smooth I will have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to being called "Lianne." I just stare blankly and say, "You mean Percilla?" Most the time I'll just keep walking as you scream, "Lianne! Lianne! watch out for the...."
SOMEONE forgot to put a password on their wireless. Was it Tom and Katy in apartment 14 H in The Gramercy Towers who said, "Oh we don't give a hay if someone borrows our service. We're new in town and just happy to be soaking up the big city life!" ????
Orrrr is it the burner whose second floor window I'm staring into now? He's putting pins into the eyeballs of his Tucker Carlson Voodoo doll while watching "Office Space" for the third time in a row!
Who ever you are, I thank you. I'm not trying to be belligerent. I need the net. It's not like the nice Indian family that strolled in are enough to entertain me. Or you for that matter. (UPDATE) The Indian family turned out not to be so nice. The dad who looks like he has mafia ties (nicely tailored navy suit and pink shirt!) was apparently angered by the service as he just said, "Anybody work here!?" The shocked busboy nodded that yes indeed people do work here. He just ordered the turkey soup for his older son. They make turkey soup? Really! Oh boy! Here's his latest quote, "You're not going to ask us if we want something to drink?" I am literally swiveling my head around and debating buying tickets! This guy is ready to blow. FYI the wife has not said, "Boo."
UPDATE: It's 4:35 AM and I'm still here. This is impressive being that I have the attention span of an avocado. Around 2 AM I started to lose power and the owner let me go to a dark corner and plug my laptop into the wall. Howevs, from said dark corner there was none of what Bush calls "the internets." All I could pick-up were airports labeled KATE (Bitch has a password so cryptic I can't even go into it) and FANCYFREE. He may be fancy but he sure ain't free because he too has his wireless on lockdown. I got a marginally dirty look from the line cook and decided to move back home (the booth I started in) and Mindspring sprung! I'm baaaack!
In addition to making a lot of progress writing-wise, I also sent out a mass e-mail mostly to old colleagues and people I've only met a few times that announced, "I'm changing my name to Percilla Stokes effective IMMEDIATELY." To make sure the transition is smooth I will have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to being called "Lianne." I just stare blankly and say, "You mean Percilla?" Most the time I'll just keep walking as you scream, "Lianne! Lianne! watch out for the...."
