LianneStokes

Tonight I went to The Genius Bar at The Apple Store because my mode of comunicato con you was acting a bit flaky. My cursor kept getting stuck. That fucker was committed to acting a fool so I packed this bitch up and headed to the Macsperts.

As my guy trouble-shot I couldn't help but notice how cute he was.

I purred, "Soooooo how did you learn all this?"

Kindly he mussed, "We got to a three week training."

"Three weeks that's all!?" I shrilled.

"Well it's really P.O.E. if it's not the hard drive.. it's the software."

"Really...." I said leaning in wishing that I hadn't worn a mock turtle neck.

Shortly there after I ran to Best Buy to grab a bunch of CD ROMS to "Back-up my hard drive" as my man-servant suggested.

He tried to explain it to me how too "back it up" and as I tried to re-cap how to burn my desktop onto a CD , I was all "So you build a snowman.. melt it and spin around twice?" He was all "Well no .." and burned my files for me. My itunes were a real little bitch as we had to burn them onto a DVD... he informed me that it would take 20 minutes. He suggested, "Go get a drink or something and come back."

PART DEUX

Now ya'll know you can't tell a girl like me to "go have a drink." I think he may have meant, a nice green tea with skim. Or perhaps he was talkin' about a frappuccino (lite). Instead I headed off to my be-loved haunt. A place I go where no one knows my name. (Right now my inner monologue saying "No, Stokes, NO! Don't do it! " )

I WENT TO CHILI’S.

Oh No She Did-int!

Yes, I did babe. Si, si, oui, oui!

After leaving my last job I was in between assignments and spent my days writing at Barnes and Noble and lunching (beering) at The chills. After a few Blue Moons and a "quesadilla explosion salad” (FOUR CHEESE QUESADILLA!) I realized that I might just get through this life.. like it or not. I also befriended the bartender, Andrea who I regaled with tales of nights spent in "the Village" East? West? Greenwich.. nah... just "The Village." After started my last copywriting assignment I had little time for Andrea and our subtle nuances.

Yesterday was my first day back and we greeted each other warmly. She said, "I was just thinking about you!" We caught-up over a few Blue Moons and a Guiltless Chicken Pita.
Cut to today... on a Genius Bar break I flit in. Expecting to be greeted warmly I was confronted by her male bartender-partner.

Maletender: "I've seen you several times in the last week."

(FIRST OFF NO YOU HAVEN'T. FRIDAY WAS MY FIRST DAY "BACK." AND, FUCK OFF, TIMES ARTE TOUGH.)

SweetLi: "Ha, ha. It's good for material." (INNER MONOLOGUE I'm a one-Andrea customer.)

Mantender: You a comedian?

SweetLi: Yes.

Mantender: Would I have seen you in anything?

SweetLi: Nope.

Mantender: (LOOKS LET DOWN)

(TRYING TO PICK WHAT'S LEFT OF HIS SELF-IMAGE I SAY) I'm of the build it and they will come philosophy. Work hard be good at what you do.

MANTENDER: (SHRUG) Well, don't let me scare you away by calling you a regular. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Hahaha.

Sweet Li: I'm Norm! Hahaha.

The whole time this exchange was going on Andrea looked nervous. Being that I was always writing on my laptop during our time together she was probably thinking something to the effect of... "You fucktard... don't you shame my little Hemingblogger! I enjoy her."

Well Andrea, I love you but I've spent the last two hours talking myself off a ledge thanks to your mantender.

While I dodging little black clouds straight out of an AA Milne story up at Chili's my Genius went home! I blew through the doors of The Apple Store to see my laptop with a DVD he's labeled, "My Music."
Awwwww. His friend said, "Bill told me he was helping you back stuff up."

It was at this moment in a cruel, cruel world full of judgmental bartenders at Chili's that I realized, "Bitch, you got a genius backin' you up."

ARRRHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!